Marriage is hard work. It takes serious dedication from both sides if it's going to work. But sometimes, something happens that neither side can recover from. These Redditors tell the stories of what led them to separate from their spouse in less than a year. Stories have been edited for clarity.
>>> "A cousin of mine divorced her husband after six months. She knew when we had to pick her up from her home after having been recently beaten. That day, we packed up all of her stuff and never let her go back."
>>> "My MIL got married the first time when she was really young. She left him a month later. Turns out he was a raging drinker. She had no idea because her family was super overprotective, and they were never really allowed to spend time together alone before they got married. Who knew spending time with someone could be the key to knowing if they are a good partner?"
>>> "When I found out he had 500K in debt that he hadn't told me about beforehand."
>>> "The day after the wedding when he poked me in the chest and said 'you're going to do what I say whether you like it or not.' Ugh. Big mistake."
>>> "She nearly killed me because she thought I was cheating from some texts that went to my mother."
>>> "When he said my son's suicide attempt interfered with his (ex's) birthday party."
>>> "Not me, but my cousin and her husband met at work. They were both independent and career focused. When they got back from the honeymoon, he immediately started treating her like his mum and told her she would need to give up work to look after the house. No talk of that before the wedding at all. I think they lasted 4 weeks married."
>>> "When I saw him wrestle on the floor with his mom and she was in her panties. I was 17, pregnant, and I didn't realize he was a momma's boy."
"Not me, but a friend of mine. They had been married about six weeks. She had just moved in when they returned from the honeymoon. She was rearranging furniture, organizing closets, etc. one day while he was at work.
She started pulling some of his boxes down from a closet shelf to make room for her things, and a box fell down accidentally, spilling hundreds of indecent pictures of children. She divorced the pedo after reporting him to the military police (they were both in the military)."
"Not me, but my dad. He got back from his honeymoon and went back to work. He came home and something felt off when he walked in the door. She wasn't there, which was very odd for her since she got off work earlier than him and was always home when he got back. When she got back, he mentioned that it was out-of-the-ordinary that she had been out and asked if she went somewhere. He wasn't accusatory, just curious because it never happened, but she dodged his questions at first. Eventually, after he got suspicious of her dodging a simple question, she admitted that she'd quit her job. When he asked why, she said she didn't need to work. So she was planning on using him as her cash cow.
He doesn't remember how the conversation went exactly since it was 30 years ago. He tried counseling and asked her to get her job back, but she always brushed him off and never took him seriously. He threw in the towel 7 months later. She started trying to fix things, but it had been 7 months of him trying to fix things and she had no interest. He filed for divorce and went on to achieve his lifelong dream: he dated and then married his middle school crush, my mom. 28 years strong."
"Less than a year into actively trying to get pregnant, he got discouraged, gave up, and started staying out until 4:15am with his 'coworker.' He posted selfies on her couch on Snapchat and even went as far as asking her to marry him once he could get rid of me. He had two biological children (my step children) that he abandoned at home with me while he was out doing this.
The icing on the cake was that on my favorite holiday, while holding my brand new baby nephew in front of his entire family, he told me he wanted a divorce.
I was gone in two weeks, left everything to him, and vanished. New number, new address, everything. The best choice I ever made."
"Not me, but my brother. We grew up on a ranch. Brother's girlfriend comes from the city, but during visits to the ranch, she dives right in, helping our mom around the house and participating in all the stuff we do – horseback riding, ATV's, etc. – and claiming (and appearing) to love it. Brother is so happy his city gal is compatible with the ranch lifestyle he grew up in, even though he is now working in the city and their life will be in the city. He just loved that she was able to connect with him that way and, more importantly, with his family. They date for about 18 months, make many visits to the ranch, and all is well. She insists that she wants to have her wedding at my parent's home. My folks go all out, have both families there, and everyone has a great time.
The next morning, we have a send-off breakfast for the couple, and they head to the airport for their honeymoon. My mom and bride's mom are visiting afterward and bride's mom mentions she's glad my mom had no hard feelings that her daughter and my brother will no longer be coming out to the ranch.
My mom is like, 'What do you mean?'
Bride's mom says, 'Oh, I thought Laura told you that having the wedding here was her gift to you to have your son home one last time with all his family here.'
My mom goes white as a sheet. We all are stunned. We are confused whether my brother knows this, and more importantly, has agreed to this. My other brother (who has his own history of family drama) texts our big bro saying, 'Is it true that this is your last time visiting mom and dad?'
Big bro texts back, 'What are you talking about?'
Middle bro says, 'Ask your new wife.'
Needless to say, the honeymoon never happens. It turns out that his wife had been hiding her belief that a man leaves his family behind and becomes part of the woman's family. It was fully her intent to never visit my parents again, to spend all holidays at her parent's home, to have any future children only have relationships with her family, and on and on. My brother literally had no idea these were her beliefs/desires. To this day, I don't know if she was evil or just clueless. They remained married for about a month until the divorce was final, but my bro never saw her again after the day-after-wedding-day."
"We dated for five years, but on the honeymoon we had a big argument over my liberal use of sunscreen. She refused to wear any because of ‘chemicals’ and I liberally use it due to my ginger skin. We seriously argued over this for a good hour, and she refused to even go into the pool with me because of sunscreen chemicals.
After a scuba adventure with her, she could hardly walk because she got so burnt on her legs whereas my skin didn’t change.
She then tried to convince me that it was all my fault because I didn’t force her to wear the sunscreen and that the honeymoon was ruined.
It was then I realized I picked the wrong person. After a few more psycho arguments (she was mad at me because of something in her dreams, mad because I didn’t remind her to bring an umbrella, and so on) I had to call it quits. I can’t stay with someone who constantly blames me for their own problems.
Luckily, no kids and I got back everything I brought into the marriage."
"The day after we got engaged, he changed. Then, he uninvited my family to the wedding. He said they would take my attention away from him.
We lasted three months, and then I ran and hid.
I only married him because I felt worthless. When you grow up feeling worthless, and a partner says 'Yeah, you are worthless, and everyone can see that, but you know what? I will love you anyway,' you jump on that like it’s the last living plant in a nuclear wasteland.
I didn’t leave because I honestly believed it was either him or suicide. I left because he was killing me anyway and I decided it would be less painful to just die on my own. Then, I lived."
"She was the best girlfriend I'd ever had. I was in my late 30s, never been married. We dated about a year.
We got married. Shortly after, she asked to have her name on all of my assets (a few rental houses, current house, some financial instruments, and the cars). Not a problem as we were married I thought, but on a Wednesday, she insisted it be done by that Friday. I didn't have time to do that because work and a deadline, I could start it the next week I said.
She pitched a fit and said if I loved her, I would do it by Friday. I found this strange and decided not to start it and see what happened. She moved out of our bedroom into a guest room. She got cold around the house, told me she would move back in to our bedroom when I finished getting everything done.
At this point, I thought 'bull' and told her so. I went to my family lawyer to seek advice. She advised me not to put anything in her name at this point and gave me the name of a marriage counselor.
She didn't want to go to counseling and continued to live in the guest room. I took my lawyer's advice and did nothing about the assets.
The long and short of it was after one year of marriage, she told me I didn't have her in my heart. I thought to my self, 'this is ridiculous.'
About a week after that, I told her if this is the way it's going to be, I'm not going to be married like this. She then told me, 'Ok, so what are you going to give me?'
Yes...she said that.
I consulted my lawyer on what a judge would come up with regarding community property for the past year. The number came up to $20k. I took that number and added another 20 grand and proposed that to her, so we can make it easy. I was going to spend more than that in lawyers fees if it got ugly.
It got ugly.
A week later, I got served with papers, with all said in the complaint, when added up, she was going after $750k for 1 year of marriage. 1 year of divorce proceedings and 2 years of property settlement proceedings on what should have been a 2-hour problem.
Judgement came, 215 points in the judgement, I owed her what would have been the community property (about 20 grand), but awarded me attorney's fees. So in net, she owed me about 30 grand and left her to go buy her own car.
Turns out, this judge had worked her butt off through school to become a lawyer and the same to become a judge by 40 years old. I was told by another attorney that normally this judge never gives attorney's fees, but was so angry at the gold dig my wife attempted, that she felt it was justified in this case.
Even though I came out okay financially, it was an emotional train wreck to have this happen and go through all that. It's been 15 years since it happened. I was not date-able for about two years, but I'm now very happy with where I am and who I'm with."
"The day after we got married, he slapped me across the face (hard and completely out of the blue). No argument, no conversation leading up to it, nothing. He said it wasn't that hard of a hit, he was just kidding around, and I was being over dramatic.
He had never gotten violent with me while dating, but as soon as we got married it was like a switch flipped and he was a COMPLETELY different person. It got worse very quickly and I ended up filing for divorce 73 days after we got married."
"Not me, but a friend. She was 4-6 weeks into marriage. Her husband at the time basically spent the few years prior to marriage being a bit of a salesman to everyone.
Once they got behind closed doors, his 'traditional marriage' roots really came out. They both had fast moving careers, and while he was okay with her making money and having a career, he also expected her to cook, clean, take care of the dogs, etc. He never lifted a finger. He would just come home and pound drinks until dinner time."
"Not me, but my sister. She didn’t see anything wrong with him moving to another state and her staying at my parents house and only seeing her husband when she flew to visit (he was in the army). She didn’t see a problem when girls would post on Instagram and Facebook photos of her husband hammered at a party when he told her he was at work. She didn’t see a problem when he made huge purchases (a sports car, a four wheeler) that they couldn’t afford without telling her. She didn’t see a problem when he told her she should get implants during love making. Nope, never saw a problem. She didn’t realize it was a mistake until he sent her divorce papers. They were married less than a year.
I, for one, wasn’t surprised. I tried to tell her a marriage that started with a proposal when both parties were in relationships with DIFFERENT PEOPLE was doomed to fail, but she didn’t listen.
Yes, this is real. I’m not making it up, I wish I were."
"Honestly, I knew before we even got married, but there was a great deal of denial and fear surrounding ending the relationship months before the wedding. HOWEVER, there was a definitive moment when I realized this was not the man for me.
About three weeks into our honeymoon, we had been traveling through the British isles and finally made it to Italy. I really wanted to stay in a remote village and be immersed, he did not. We settled on Florence. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely there, and we saw a lot, but it’s extremely touristy and I didn’t feel like I was getting the full cultural experience in a big city like that. I asked our host of the BnB what their favorite restaurant was, something only locals know about. The sweet man drew me a little map and even told me it would look closed and was very small and had very specific hours, which he wrote down for me.
The next day, after some searching we find it in an alley way off the beaten path and it’s like a dream come true. Only Italians, no English translations on the menu, no couple from Florida at the table next to us. It’s packed and it smells so amazing. They squeezed us in on a tiny table, got us menus, and said what I imagine was, we’ll be back in a bit. I was awe struck by finally feeling like I was in my home country (I’m from Italian descent and all Italian-Americans dream of visiting Italy). This place was something out of the movies – small, dim lights, loud, classic Italian music in the back ground. The little old Italian lady making the pasta looked like my nonni. I was just smiling and taking it all in. For the first time since landing, it was truly feeling like I was in Italy.
My husband looked at me and said 'this is too cramped, I can’t eat here.' I looked back at him, and he just got up and walked out. I had to hold back tears realizing that he just walked out on me when I had found the happiest place on our honeymoon yet. The waitress came over confused and I just apologized as I stammered out of the restaurant. Both embarrassed and heartbroken knowing this was not the kind of man I wanted to share experiences with. I knew at that moment I had made a huge mistake."
"My uncle got 'green card married' to a Mexican woman he met online, convinced that by the end of the two years before she could become a citizen, she would fall in love with him and want to stay with him. She made it very clear that wouldn't happen, she just wanted to bring her kids over, and needed a good Samaritan to help. Well, once she started dating people after their marriage, he realized he was wrong and they divorced. She and her kids got sent back to Mexico.
Honestly, my uncle is 100% at fault. He's a misogynistic neck beard who tricked a woman who was very clear with her intentions into thinking he was a supportive friend and ally, when in reality he wanted to make her dependent on him and force a relationship on her."
"Not me, but my brother-in-law and his wife. What gave it away was their sudden and poorly planned wedding that they expected everyone to pitch in on. They wanted each of us to prepare and bring a type of food (or two) suitable to feed 50-75 people. That was a no from a ton of his family. We couldn't afford that. His mom asks if everything is ok with them, but they brush her off.
Then they kept changing their minds about what stupid color they wanted everyone to wear. They made a HUGE deal about it. Brother-in-law's family adheres to their attire requests and his wife's family doesn't bugger all. They're not even dressed like they're going to a wedding, even though they're considerably wealthier than the rest of us.
The wedding is boring; the couple is arguing under their breath the whole time and for some reason, they both see it fitting to invite brother-in-law's trashy ex...which they then argue about.
Now, just shy of a year, they've announced that they're divorcing."
"I married at 21, the first time. He was great – tall, handsome, great job in IT sales, and generally a fun person.
Little red flag early on: he called me a hag on our wedding day, in front of our guests. He asked me if I would dance with him (not the first dance, we’d already done that) and I was mingling with people, pressing the flesh and all that, so I said that I couldn’t at the moment, but I would in a minute. He responded with 'god you’re such a rat, I don’t know why we’re bothering if you won’t even dance with me.'
He’d never, ever spoken to me like that before. The next day, he was really, REALLY apologetic, and he’d had a lot to drink, so we put it down to that. I was annoyed, obviously, but there wasn’t another incident like that in our marriage, all 11 months and 23 days of it. In fact, I’d say it was blissful. We’d bought a house, we had cats, we worked hard, and we were doing just fine. Bedroom wise, it was brilliant. There were absolutely no clues he was about to end it.
In the week before he did, well, we banged like rabbits every day that week. On the Tuesday, he bought flowers to my workplace because he’d been visiting a client in my building and couldn’t be in the same place as I was without coming in to see me. On the Thursday, we went grocery shopping. I remember as clear as day when we walked in the store I said 'shall I get this one or will you?'
He turned to me and said he didn’t think I should, because it would be unfair of him to make me buy groceries I wasn’t going to be using. I was like, what? And right there next to the potatoes and carrots, he said he was sorry, but he was going to take me to my parents house because he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. And that was it.
We were 8 days away from our anniversary. We met up for coffee a few times after, because I was determined to find out why, but he never told me. I tried to at least stay friends, but the complete lack of answers made me realize that it wasn’t worth my time.
I found out when he filed the divorce papers though. There in black and white...adultery. He’d been having feelings for someone else and it wasn’t fair to carry on with me, so he kicked me out of the home that was half mine and never gave me a chance to at least try to work it out. He even moved her into our marital home a couple of months later. It’s over 20 years ago, but I’m still SO angry about it, even though I’m blissfully remarried.
I took revenge in the best way though. He was on holiday with his new woman and a mutual friend was cat sitting at the house. I persuaded him to go out for the evening, he gave me the keys and I boned my ex-husbands boss on his and his girlfriends bed. I left a big red lipstick kiss on the mirror for him to see when they got home. It made me feel about 1000 times better!"
"My father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer within six months of us getting married after being together for about five years. I was the primary caregiver and still attempting to maintain a full time job in my twenties. Within the first two months of major brain surgery and daily radiation treatments at a hospital two hours away, my ex told me that she couldn’t handle this anymore and I had to choose her or my dad. Now, all cancer is bad, but this type is the 95% of those diagnosed only make it nine months variety.
Obviously, when I choose my dad, she made the most difficult time in my life twice as difficult. She wouldn’t leave and was obnoxious and mean in every way. After about three to four months of the diagnosis, she was then cheating on me. After about six months, I finally got her to leave. My father passed away right at nine months after diagnosis and we were divorced three weeks later."
"My sister had a husband who was suspiciously nice. He always gave me and my brother the creeps. One night, I had a sleepover at her house. At about 2:00 AM, he came home hammered and was not in the right state of mind. My sister took him into the guest room and talked to him, but it turned into an argument. I woke up to a loud scream, followed by glass breaking. I rushed into the hallway and started looking in every room. I found them in the guest room, broken glass, blood, and my sisters husband yelling profanities at her.
We managed to get him to calm down. I don’t remember too much, but he got arrested after my brother called the police when he heard the breaking of glass. Long story short, my sister divorced him and found someone else. My brother and I never had another sleepover at her house again after that incident."
"My husband went missing and was found in a crack den. I was out of state at the moment, so I went back home immediately. When I got home all the lights were off, it was eerily quiet, and there were hunting knifes open and laying everywhere. The counter, table, side tables, the ground, and they were surrounding him in bed. He was passed out.
I left ASAP and went to a friends house. He broke into their house at 6:00 AM and beat the snot out of one of the people that lived there, and then me – he held me up in the wall by my throat and said he was going to murder me. This was about five months into married life. I moved out the day of and moved back to my family’s house out of state in a couple months."